Not What I Expected

Not What I Expected

I stand in the shadows although not alone

11 players stand on the field, but I stand with 7 on the side line (side line crew).

Ready to play as the game continued on goggles on, mouth guard in, stick in my hands.

Cheering on my teammates yelling and screaming positive advice.

The girls shuffle on and off the field I congratulate everyone.

Yet I am invisible I try to console the players that only played for 15 minutes, yet I can’t feel their pain when they can’t feel mine.

They do not recognize the suffering I go through, I have the anticipation I will actually play.

5 minutes left in the game I guess I should be going in soon.

3 minutes on the clock I hear my name "weaver" take this person out.

What can I do in this time I can’t show what I have or prove myself and barely enough time to do anything. I could not grow or learn without the experience.

I am lucky to actually touch the ball once if that.

I am just a last resort.

The player no one believes in, they think I am hopeless, with no potential to contribute.

I practice two hours a day five days a week; I put all my effort and soul into the game yet I get nothing, the highlight is 3 minutes on the field.

I play the game because I love it I have a passion and a love like no other.

The others take the game for granted and I have a desire to play.

I live in agony everyday thinking about my past. Did I do something wrong? What made me different from the rest?

I question myself everyday could I have done better, done something, or should I have quit?

The only proud moment I had was I stuck it though and I would not have changed that.

I stand strong and will prove you wrong.

Because I know I am better than the rest.

By: Jessica Weaver